Phase I: Packing your belongings

Forgive me, dear readers, for I was lost in a world WITHOUT INTERNET! Can you even fathom it? I hardly can, and I just lived through the experience. In all the hubbub of moving the one thing that didn't get set up was our internet and cable in Michigan, which we realized the day we drove out. Oops. Aside from that horror, the move was relatively smooth.

Relatively.

On the Saturday before our move, after packing for 6 hours and watching the boxes pile up, Matthew asked what size truck we had.

Me: 14 foot.
Matt: WHAT?! There's no way all our stuff is going to fit in a 14' truck!
Me: That pod I used when I moved out here was only, like, 6x8' and remember how much we had in there? Bed, sectional, tables, the bar, a million boxes.
Matt: There is no way we're going to be able to fit in a 14' truck...why did you get that one?
Me: You TOLD me to get "the middle size one"
Matt: That's the small one!
Me: THERE IS A TEN FOOT TRUCK THAT IS THE SMALL ONE THEREFORE THE 14 FOOT TRUCK WOULD BE THE MIDDLE ONE!
(did I mention we were a little testy at this point?)
Matt: OH MY GOD...
Me: Well I don't think GOD CARES IF OUR TRUCK IS TOO SMALL!

At this point it became clear to me, and I think to Matthew, that we were not the enemy. The enemy is the act of moving. Moving sucks. Moving makes you take stock of exactly how much crap you actually own. And by the looks of it, we had a lot more crap than would fit in a 14 foot truck. So I called U-haul and upgraded us to 17 feet.

After that we were both much calmer, and nicer to each other frankly, except that Matthew seemed more tired that usual. We chalked it up to stress until Sunday night when he really started to look like shit. The plague took him out for most of Monday and all of Tuesday, but this was okay (I mean, not okay that he was sick, but okay in the world of moving) because we had made the greatest decision thus far in our adult lives:

We hired movers.

Hallelujah, people let me tell you, I will NEVER AGAIN attempt a move without professional movers in my life (right now my dad and brother are cheering on this decision). When I reserved the truck there was an option to hire two movers for two hours for about $150, with the option for more time at an hourly rate, and we could use local companies to help at each end of the move. I figured, if we packed everything and even hauled it down the the main floor of the house, the movers could just shoot in and out, carry all the heavy stuff and strap it into the truck. Whatever they didn't finish in two hours we could do on Wednesday night and it would be perfect. And it was, but let me return to this in a moment.

When: Wednesday, 7/21/10 at 7:15am.
Where: U-Haul on Allentown Blvd in Harrisburg.

We're pickup up our (now) 17 ft moving truck. Matthew looks like he can hardly stand upright, but I figure he can just sleep until the movers arrive and, frankly, he can sleep the rest of that day if necessary. The darling girl behind the counter pulls up our reservation and at that moment, through the haze of illness, Matt says: Maybe we should get the 24' truck.

Me: (completely resigned to the insanity) Okay.
Matt: It says the 24' truck is for 2-4 bedrooms and an entire house
Me: Okay, but we're only moving to a 2 bedroom apartment
Matt: But the 17' truck is only for 1-2 bedrooms
Me: Okay. Whatever you want. Are you sure you're okay with driving all that?

Because no matter how many times we've talked about it, I am absolutely certain he is not taking into account the other fact of this move: He's towing my car behind the truck. And not on one of those little dollys that holds the front wheels. Oh no, my baby is going on a full "Auto Transport" trailer, as they call it. It's like another entire 24' truck BEHIND the moving truck.

Me: But the 10, 14, and 17' descriptions say "Drives like a Van!" and then when you look at the 24 footer it does not say that. It does not drive like a van, it drives like a SEMI TRUCK! They don't even try to hide it!
Matt: I'll be fine
Me: okay, if that's what you want...

Uhaul girl: um, yeah, like, we don't have any 24 footers.
Me: oh.
Uhaul girl: I can give you a 26' truck.
Me: holy shit.


He is now driving a semi truck PULLING a trailer to Michigan.
Perfect.

Matt: Okay. Okay. It's fine, I'll be fine.
Me: Surgeon by day, truck driver by night?
Matt: No, it'll be fine. I used to drive these when I worked for Dick in high school
Me: And when they put the trailer on the back with my car...?
Matt: (silence) ...Well, we just can't go anywhere where I might have to back it up.

Oh my god.

He was so calm (or maybe it was the plague sapping all remnants of life from him), but his relief was just palpable, so I just went along. There was no question that we would have enough room for all our junk...driving a semi for the first time was not even a concern.

And herein lies one of the things I love about men, and in particular, my husband: Not for a moment does he question his ability to do something a) he's never done before, b) with no training, skills, etc, c) with no more than about 4 seconds of consideration put into the entire endeavor. The concern : what if all our stuff doesn't fit? The answer: GO BIG OR GO HOME!

Now my answer would have been: fine, we'll be throwing out/giving away some more stuff. Whatever. It's just stuff.

Man answer: MUST GET BIGGER MACHINERY

But I digress. Let's return to the greatest decision ever made:

We hired movers.

They were incredible. Not only was it 93 degrees that day AND about 143 degrees inside the truck, but they packed every single thing we owned into that truck in LESS THAN two hours (!) and there was not an inch of space wasted. They were so good at packing that we had about 10 feet of space left in our 26' truck. That's right, we only used 16 feet.

Ch - ch- ch - CHIA!

So last night I ate a tablespoon of a horse supplement...on purpose.

But, let me start from the beginning:

I was reading this really interesting book entitled Born to Run: A hidden tribe, super athletes, and the greatest race the world has never seen by Christopher McDougall (a highly recommended read) which is about humans as natural endurance runners (ha, not in my personal experience) and a indigenous tribe in Mexico called the Tarahumara or Raramuri. They run, like, literally 60-100 miles A DAY like it's nothing (I run, like, 1 mile and feel both suicidal and homicidal). In an aside, the author mentions they eat a concoction they call "Iskiate"- a mixture of Chia seeds and lime juice they use as a regenerative tonic before/during/after ultramarathon-length runs.

Well I gotta have me some super-food, let me tell you. Especially if it will make running easier.

Chia seeds also happened to be the topic of the most recent newsletter I received on Paleo Diets. The Paleo Diet is supposedly what our paleolithic ancestors ate and, thus, is what we are biologically evolved to eat. Needless to say, it does not involve french fries or ice cream (which I feel fully evolved into eating on a fairly regular basis). I don't eat Paleo, as they say, but I do follow The Zone diet (daily intake of 30% protein, 40% complex carbs, 30% healthy fats). I'm not sure where Chia seeds fall in this, but I suspect they are both a carb and a fat.

They are little omega-3 and omega-6 factories (2 tablespoons have more than your daily requirements of each) with pretty high protein content (4 grams per two tablespoons) for plants, anyway. And they are really high in fiber (7 grams per two tablespoons = 33% recommended daily fiber intake).

Screw the health factor: will they make recovery from hard workouts easier AND make me run, say, more than ten minutes without feeling very sorry for myself?



When my 3lb bag of Chia seeds arrived in the mail I was super-pumped. Matt was chanting "this is what people who don't have kids do...they spend their extra time and energy on crazy fads." Like he wasn't right there with me shaking the bag and reading the pages of recipes that came with them. You can sprinkle them in cereal, oatmeal, yogurt, etc, or you can add 1 part Chia to 9 parts water and they turn into a gel (add the gel to soups, liquids, etc and it won't dilute the flavor).



I don't know how you would react, but this bag of 1 millimeter pellets turned us into 5th grade science students. First we read all the information on the bag, then we smelled them and sifted them around a bit. Then we made gel - that was pretty exciting (or maybe it's only exciting for people with no lives and few hobbies). Finally, we devolved into TRUE children in science class:



Matt: eat it.
Me: No! Eww!
Matt: Why did you buy them? Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!
Me: YOU eat it
Matt: No! I'm not the one who bought them
Me: (sniffing the bag) Okay, how?
Matt: eat the gel!
Me: No, I'll take a taste
Matt: PUSSY! EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT!

Well, nobody calls ME a pussy at 9 o'clock at night in my own kitchen. On the other hand, the gel looks really disgusting. So I took a spoonful of the seeds from the bag and dropped it on my tongue.

Chia seeds have almost no flavor at all, but they do turn kind of slimy as they react to your saliva (becoming gel, I guess). I drank a bunch of water to wash those little buggers down and it occurred to me that, if you add 1 part Chia to 9 parts water and they expand, won't they do that in your stomach? Hmmm. Am I going to be uncomfortably full from a teaspoon of Chia? Or is my stomach going to blow up like a starving kid in Africa?

Bloating was not my goal.

The other thing about those bastards is they get stuck in your teeth. Everywhere. They are slightly larger than a poppy seed and after a spoonful I looked like I had eaten poppy-seed/jellyfish hybrids. And somehow they hide in, like, every crevice in your mouth. Every time I moved my tongue I found seeds. I looked like I lost all my teeth and was chewing dentures.

Well, the excitement of eating a teaspoon of seeds passed and I started looking through the recipes again and ran across a colorful little card with a checklist of the wonderful properties of Chia...

Me: Wait...what does that say?
Matt: (laughing uncontrollably)
Me: Does that say "Equine Chia?"
Matt: (laughing)
Me: DOES THAT SAY "HORSE SUPPLEMENT?"



My mane better be REAL shiny after this.

It has begun...

A new city, a new home, a new blog.

Some of my family recall my first foray into blogging (Gullible's Travels), which I wrote for, oh...a couple months.

See, I always have grand plans for "life projects" and sometimes they are truly life-long projects (e.g. mastering the art of raising a pug, fitness and health, enjoying marriage, laughing as much as possible in a day, etc) and some are really brief interludes that I find entertaining for a period of time and then dump by the side of the road when something better comes along. These have included, but are not limited to:

Sewing - In my early 20's I decided I should learn to sew. Not only should I learn to sew, I should make my own clothes. What a grand idea, don't you think? The problem was that I knew no one who could sew. My mom hates to sew and my dad's sewing skills were all developed in the Boy Scouts. So I set about learning to use the sewing machine (never could figure out how to thread it) and make myself a dress. My first "dress" turned out more like a wind-sock and I bled more from needle sticks than even a visually impaired phlebotemist could have caused.

Beading - I do enjoy beading, actually. I learned how to wire-wrap when visiting my family in Hawaii and bought all the necessary tools and accouterments to allow me to make an entire jewelry wardrobe of beaded trinkets. I soon realized that I don't actually like to wear jewelry. Go figure. So my mom now has an entire jewelry wardrobe of beaded trinkets and I have one necklace I kinda liked (it lives in a drawer with all the other jewelry I don't wear). I still bead every now and then, so if you like beaded necklaces, bracelets or earrings, I can hook you up.

Running - Damn I hate running. I have tried several times to enjoy running and I just hate it. Guess what's on the list of new hobbies? BAREFOOT RUNNING. I figure, I can't hate running any more than I already do, so doing it barefoot at least adds a little danger and excitement. I'll let you know how that pans out for me.

Blogging - Yes. It's true, blogging is on this list. I was pretty steady throughout the cross country drive from Oregon to Pennsylvania, and even for a few months after that...buuuuuut, then I got busy with work and actually made some friends, so I petered out a bit. And by "a bit" I mean, I hadn't posted in over a year when I let Matt take over my old blog to post info about his trip to Haiti after the earthquake. Then I wrote a little bitch-fest post about all the snow and you haven't seen me since.

This is a new blog. 'New' means exciting, right? 'New' means I'll totally go after this blog with the same gusto I have shown toward torturing my husband with healthy foods and befriending every single person who goes to my gym between the hours of 5pm and 9pm.

We'll just see :) For now, I can promise to bedazzle you with stories of the chaos of moving from Pennsylvania to Detroit, Michigan (on purpose) and the other random stream-of-consciousness things that are knocking around in my brain. If you've never witnessed/experienced the full measure of my observations on the world, get ready for a ride my friends.

And this time, I'll try to keep it at least PG-13